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About ShadowFox Healing Arts

A conscientious and curious innovator with a galvanizing passion for the mind-body-spirit connection, ShadowFox Healing Arts is focused on all empathetic, empirical, and efficient aspects of healthcare. ShadowFox Healing Arts is about trauma-informed recovery, walking the talk and leading by example, vulnerable authenticity, and a sustained commitment to holding space for all aspects of humanity--both the good and the ugly.

Not currently accepting coaching clients as the founder finishes her doctoral degree in medicine and additional research experiences and publications. Please feel free to follow on instagram @shadowfox.healingarts where stories are daily, read the blog, learn more about the founder's story, check out the free guided meditation in the Shop, or "Ask LoMo" a question to be answered on their blog!

About the Founder

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Home: Welcome

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about the memes 🤪🔥 Here’s my winter harvest, always a mix of silly and contemplative ❄️🖤

This year I’m being brutally honest. 2025 didn’t look like I thought it would. It didn’t move on schedule… and it definitely didn’t fit inside a highlight reel.

This year asked me to sit with grief and growth at the same time; to hold expansion alongside exhaustion, clarity alongside uncertainty, and joy alongside real depletion. It asked me to listen more closely to my body, to my values, and to the quieter parts of myself I’m often moving too quickly to hear. It asked me to dig deeper than ever before.

There is so much I’m proud of here. And so much that stretched me in ways I never anticipated. I am reminded of the old beatitude “blessed are the flexible, for they will not be bent out of shape.”

If you’re moving through a season that feels nonlinear, tender, or hard to explain — I’m right there with you. “When life is sweet, say thank you and grow. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” Peace out, 2025.

Tags // medical school | medical student | doctor of osteopathic medicine | research year | medicine | education | doctor | 2025 | highlight reel | honesty | let’s be real | wrapped

clearing out my drafts for the year 🧹- [tags] for you, drafts, autumn, quotes, season, wisdom, change

My poetry never seems to please the algorithm but I will keep sharing it because it’s really more for me than it is for the clout 🤪

“Pacific Northwest November”

At the apex of autumn
there’s a crispness in the air
that stirs awake the lungs
and galvanizes the soul.

Juicy green leaves ignite
yellow, orange, red fireworks
along the treeline slowly over time
exploding into withered, brown,
smithereens falling softly, silently

Crunchy organic confetti under boots
as Parfum de autumn wafts
cedar, evergreen and wood smoke
coiling above chimneys and
dispersing in leaf-adorned gusts

And a honeyed mug of tea
warms tired bones and a weary soul
while the season slowly shivers
into sweater weather

A long yawn into the yin finds rhythm
with the season’s slowing breath,
tending the harvest in quiet ritual
before nestling into winter’s dark womb

#poetry #poetrycommunity #artist #poem #autumn

OPP Meme dump pt 2
#omt #osteopathicmedicine #medstudentlife #medstudents #freefirememes #memes #comedy #medicine #laughteristhebestmedicine

OPP Meme dump pt 1
#omt #osteopathicmedicine #medstudentlife #medstudents #freefirememes #memes #comedy #medicine #laughteristhebestmedicine

✨ Everyone has a rock bottom. Flow arts saved me during mine.

I first picked up a hoop in 2013 while piecing life back together after a head injury and a delayed graduation. I couldn’t even keep it spinning on my waist, but hooping taught me how to reconnect with my body, breathe through frustration, and try again (and again). In 2015 I trusted myself enough to light it on fire, and in 2018 I performed in the Great Circle at Burning Man—a moment I’ll never forget. Flow rebuilt my self-efficacy, taught me the art of moving meditation, and gave me the courage to apply to med school in 2020.

Motherhood and medicine have kept me away from fire more than I’d like, but life moves in phases of respiration. After years of taking gulps of air in the intensity of medical training and this winding initiation into motherhood, this weekend was a sigh of relief: playing with fire by the ocean, taking my first aerial Lyra class, and sharing the magic with my son and husband. Kindle reminded me how badly I’ve missed whimsy, play, and being stirred alive by movement.

Thank you, @kindle_nw. Medicine may be my path, but that path has been illuminated by firelight with joy, clownery, and play as my compass. 🔥💫
#flowartist #firespinning #dance #movement #fireartist #circus #kindlenw2025 #evolution #selfreflection

Wandering Atrial Pacemaker… what’d you think I meant? 💅🏼🫀🩺
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if you like this verse, wait til you hear the whole thing 🔥 like, share, tag your medical friends, & follow @shadowfox.healingarts if you want to hear the full song… music video coming soon as well 😎 recording credit goes to my bestie @chalitmusic 🙏🏻
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#premed #parody #medical #medstudent #medtok #cardiology #internalmedicine #medicalschool #viral #comedy #rap #fypreelsシ゚ #fypinstagram🥀🙏🏻✔️🙏🏻#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣#⃣*⃣ #fypage #health #wellness

Reflection from the first week of returning to campus for scholar year 🤓

Med school is a series of plunges into the deep end that keep going deeper.
First and second year: endless didactics, drowning in detail, with the terror of Step 1/Level 1 waiting at the surface.
Third year: the current pulls harder—translating knowledge into clinic, surviving shelf exams, and then Step 2/Level 2.

When I started in 2022, I felt like I was holding my breath, unsure when I’d come up for air again. There was one brief gasp between those first board exams and the plunge into third year—where I faced core rotations, shelf exams, pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights, lactation, conference presentations, and yet another round of board exams.

This time, “dedicated study” meant juggling an infant, a wedding for a dear friend, a move back to Yakima for my scholar year, and research conferences & deadlines. Next May, I’ll dive again into 4th year electives, Sub-Is, and residency apps.

For now, I’m surfacing. Step 2 is behind me (PASSED 🥳), Level 2 results pending, but the wave of standardized exams has finally broken until after graduation in residency. As the dust of third year settles, I can finally breathe and reflect—with gratitude, awe, and a little disbelief—on just how far I and my classmates have come.

Med school and motherhood isn’t easy. But what a privilege it is to live both at once.

#medschool #medicalstudent #medmom #study #fypage #doctor

🎯 Studying for a big exam? Use AI like this and thank me later.

After an undergrad degree in psych and biomedical engineering, passing the Certified Brain Injury Specialist exam, post-baccs, a master’s in medical science, the MCAT, and now med school… I’ve basically become a professional test taker.

With Step 2 and COMLEX Level 2 just around the corner for me, this is the #1 hack I’m using to level up my practice exam review — and it’s shockingly simple:

🧠 After each practice test:
➡️1. Make a doc and jot down why you missed each Q.
(Knowledge gap? Misread the question? Second-guessed your gut?)
➡️2. Then give that doc to ChatGPT with this prompt:
“Can I copy and paste the scores I’ve gotten on my practice exams for [Exam] in addition to the notes I took on all my incorrects? Can you synthesize overall trends, patterns by block/test, and give me targeted advice for improvement based on it?”

📊 It’ll show you blind spots you didn’t know you had — and exactly how to fix them and where to most focus your time and energy.

Work smarter, not harder. Save this. Share it. Use it.
You’ve got this. 💥
#usmlestep2 #comlexlevel2 #studyhacks #medstudentlife #aiinmedicine #medicalstudent #productivitytips #step2ck #medicalschool #premed #study #mcat #mcatstudying

Been waiting to be able to hop on this trend 🥰🥺 time needs to slow down 🤯 #9monthsin9monthsout #medschoolmom

thank you @psychedelicscience & @maps__org for a wonderful 2025 Conference! The future of psychedelic science & medicine looks bright and it was an honor to have the opportunity to present our research on psilocybin & self-compassion this year! I’ll write a longer, more detailed reflection soon, for now enjoy this quick summary from all my stories over the past week!
#psychedelic #science #psilocybin #research #medicine #ketamine #lsd #mdma #psychedelicscience #psychedelicscience2025

The final 6 weeks of third year shattered me.
Not in a bad way—more like a mirror breaking, each piece showing a different truth about who I am and who I’m becoming.

I thought I was settled on Neurology. I wrote the words and I meant them… Then OB/GYN cracked something open I didn’t even know was waiting.

To witness life enter this world—one soul, through another—while holding space for both? It felt holy. As a mother, I’ve been the door. But as a future physician, I sat beside the door. And something primordial within me stirred.

Women’s health pulled me with a gravity I couldn’t reason away. Especially in this political climate, it feels like purpose—like protest.

And yet… I’m still in love with the brain. With mental health. Psychedelic medicine. OMM. Breastfeeding medicine. Pelvic floor health.
I didn’t lose myself—I just found more of me.

So I’m re-opening the question:
What path lets me be whole?
Maybe it’s Family Medicine with OB. Maybe it’s something I haven’t yet imagined.
All I know is: it needs to be integrative, expansive, and true.

I am grateful for the space this research year will give me—to listen inward, to mother, to study, to become.

I don’t fully know my destination quite yet, but I know I’m far from lost. I will continue to follow the breadcrumbs of my experiences until I fully come home to myself.

#medicalstudent #medicalstudentlife #medicine #transformation #wellness #wellnessjourney #familymedicine #existentialcrisis

Do you agree? What propaganda are you not falling for?
…⃝…⃝…⃝…⃝…⃝…⃝…⃝
At 5 years old, I watched 3 of my grandparents die suddenly from a heart attack, lymphoma, and a brainstem stroke, and it was then that I first promised myself I’d become a doctor.

But the deeper I got into healthcare during my gap years, the more I saw the cracks in the system. Profit over people. Stigma around parenthood in medicine. The dehumanizing grind for both patient and practitioner.

So I stepped off the beaten path for a few gap years. I studied trauma, plant medicine, mindfulness, embodiment. I danced with fire. I learned to listen to the body in motion.

And still… I chose conventional med school… and I’d choose it again and again, because I found fatal flaws in those alternative spaces as well.

What I’ve realized is neither path is perfect, but I want the best of both. The rigor of understanding anatomy, biochemistry and pathophysiology and the wisdom of root-cause healing. The power of pharmacology and surgery and the healing potential of osteopathic manipulation and other modalities.

Armed with knowledge to see through propaganda and misinformation while still believing there are better, more complete ways to heal. I believe in science. I believe in soul. And I believe we can weave it all together into a more conscious, evidence-based way to approach healing.

New, full length blog on my website on this topic if you feel like reading 😌🥰

#wellness #health #medicine #trendingreelsvideo #healthyliving #healthcare #healthcareworkers #trend #trendingnow

This year feels like a constellation of full-circle moments — one of the brightest being the honor of presenting our research poster on psilocybin at @psychedelicscience 2025 conference!

After attending the 2023 conference, @jorgechalit and I were struck by a subtle yet recurring thread across the literature — a theme often overlooked, yet rich with unifying potential. That spark became a collaborative literature review and a poster we’re proud to share with this year’s psychedelic community of visionaries, researchers, and healers.

We’re deeply grateful to be moving toward publication in the coming months — and even more so to contribute to the very conference that first inspired this journey two years ago. Both of us envision integrating this kind of research into our future medical practice, and it’s been a joy to explore its possibilities together as we continue to grow through our training.

If you’re planning to attend, use code SPEAKER15 for 15% off registration & come find our poster!

#psychedelic #mushrooms #research #psychedelicscience2025 #ps2025

getting hype about @psychedelicscience 2025 in June by revisiting my trip to Denver in 2023! 🤩
#psychedelic #psychedelicscience2023 #psychedelicscience2025 #medicine #research #medicalstudent

✨Strengthen your spine. Don’t harden your heart🫀
This mantra has carried me through the most chaotic and divinely beautiful six months of my life thus far.

I tumbled into sleep-deprived motherhood while still deep in med school—juggling clinical demands, family shifts, and the sweet perfume of baby snuggles. It’s been awe-inspiring. It’s been brutal. And it’s been survival mode.

I stepped away from my daily meditation practice for the first time in 5 years, letting myself float in the messy tides of becoming. But after a breaking point last week—long commutes, food poisoning, a terrifying ER visit, balancing my partner’s career demands, and pressure to perform—I heard the call to anchor again.

I returned to my routine. To my spine. To the breath. And to a heart still soft enough to hold it all.

This reflection came through in stillness:
When life gets tough, strengthen your spine—don’t harden your heart.
My meditative practice reminds me to sit tall and breathe through my entire spine, and to soften my heart despite the barrage of chaos the world consistently berates me with. I find myself sighing in relief, ready to come home to this new version of myself, again.

#Nature #medstudents #quotestagram #quotestoliveby

April in the PNW is always a little unsure—crystal skies peeking through rain, spring blossoms reminding us that summer hasn’t forgotten us. This month, I found the same thing within myself.

Neurology asked me to look inward. Its elegant physical exams, formulaic approach to certain emergencies, balance between evidence-based and experimental approaches, and reverence for uncertainty drew me in like no specialty yet has. The brain and its wires—its sparks, silences, and shadows—felt like home.

Unlike other rotations, this goodbye hurts differently. Not just because I found rhythm here—but because I could stay forever and never stop being curious. I leave here with more questions than answers, but one truth stands firm: this is where I belong.

Between strokes, seizures, MS, migraines, tremors, and the intangible beauty of functional disorders, Neurology became a living world beyond the textbook understanding my preclinical years gave me of it. And in the middle of personal and spiritual upheaval, I still thrived.

I have one last rotation before dedicated board study begins. But unless something truly extraordinary shifts my path… you’re looking at a future Neurologist now 🖤🧠

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

The specialty of Psychiatry has been whispering to me for years. I still need some inpatient time to round it out, but my outpatient rotation gave me something rare: a glimpse into the lives of those grappling with treatment-resistant depression (TRD)—a topic that’s etched itself into my personal life since high school.

This clinic used transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) and Spravato (intranasal esketamine) for those whom traditional meds had failed. I sat with stories thick with grief and grit. I watched hope flicker back to life. I got to talk mechanisms, share research, and offer gentle, grounded ways to engage with healing in these specific modalities. I will decorate my soul with the conversations I had with these patients for the rest of my life.

This post is not at all intended to bash traditional psych meds… they have saved countless lives and I will always support someone using a tool that works for them. Meds never worked for me. At 16, I thought that meant I was broken. TMS was in its infancy and Esketamine was years away. I carved out my own map in the dark—and I found my way. Still, I wonder if my 20s would have been such a struggle if these tools had been available to me. Then I remember: this was always the road. And I’m grateful.

If Psychiatry is where I land, I hope my practice echoes this space. But next up is Neurology in Seattle. A new chapter, still unfolding. A big decision, still to be made. 🌊🧠

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

my innie ➡️ a homebody yet avid escapist to nature, a meal prepper & fitness enthusiast, loving mother that finds every excuse to stay home and cuddle with my little guy, and a dedicated medical student always involving myself in school affairs that most friends don’t ever get to see (me probably 90% of the time atm)

my outie ➡️ a pole dancing fire/LED performance artist with a flair for artist collabs, photoshoots, spectacles, and a propensity to twerk at any event I’m at 🤣 this part of me doesn’t come out nearly as much as it used to but when i’m out, imma do the dang thing 😝

life is about ✨balance✨

& thank you @jesschan0 for encouraging me to hop on this trend 🤪🥰
#firespinning #housemusic #medstudent #balance #lifestyle #freefirememes

Nature has always been my church. As a child, I found solace in the trees, the dirt, and the imaginary worlds they held for me. Life pulled me away for a while, but in my 20s, I returned—hiking, camping, and remembering that I am not separate from nature but a part of it. I began to view the forest as my friend, the rocks as my ancestors, the fauna as my relatives, the dirt as my source of grounding into reality, and the rivers as a baptism I return to each time. I found healing in both plant and animal medicines that before had seemed unimaginable.

Moving to the PNW only deepened that love and connection, with my husband and I disappearing into the wild for days at a time. These days, adventures have paused with school, distance, and our sweet newborn, but I can’t wait to share the magic of the mountains with him soon. Until then, I’m holding onto the promise of dirt under our fingernails, glacier water sipped straight from the source, and Sundays spent giving thanks for this one wild and beautiful life. 🌿✨

#NatureIsMyChurch #Nature #adventureisoutthere #pnw #medicalstudent #freefirememe #getoutside

What’s one piece of wisdom you’ve gained from experience? Drop it in the comments below ⬇️✨

Internal Medicine has been a key rotation for me, especially with Psychiatry & Neurology both requiring it for intern year. After 3 weeks outpatient and 5 (total) weeks inpatient, I’ve pushed myself to learn as much as I can and obtain honors in this rotation. It’s been long hours but I’m proud to say I’ve enjoyed the complexity of IM care.
February has been a whirlwind:
* Mourning the loss of life-saving public health policy in this country.
* Advocated for medical education policy in Washington.
* Scheduled my Step 2 & Level 2 exams for July while juggling COMATs, case presentations, and full-time work.
* Got mixed feedback on my research projects—one disappointing, one motivating.
* Confronted the reality of emotionally unstable blood relatives.
* Cleared to run again by PT and finding peace with my postpartum fitness journey.
* Showing up for my son, partner, & friends amidst it all.
It’s been a dark winter with no break in sight, but I’m used to enduring mentally & physically. I remind myself: “Blessed are the flexible, for they bend but do not break.” I will continue to bend, not break.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

Mid-December and January have been quite the rollercoaster. I bid farewell to Family Medicine Urgent Care and dove headfirst into Surgery. This was a surreal rotation for me because it was the entire reason I wanted to be a doctor back in high school. A lot of things have changed since then and I think medicine is a more suitable path for me instead of surgery now, but there was something immensely healing in the teenager within for these past 6 weeks.

I kept thinking about who I was when I was 14, 15, 16, and 17 years old. That version of myself went through so much emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse. These years are when things went incredibly dark for me, like the walls closing in on my peripheral like a dark shroud of tunnel vision where all I could focus on was my pain and suffering.

I imagined taking that teenage version of myself to work every day of my surgery rotation and they were so enthralled that we’d made it here. It didn’t matter if surgery turned out to not be my true passion, what mattered is we even made it to this moment. We made it. Despite it all… and just knowing that made every day of my surgery rotation beautiful.

Perhaps one day I will feel compelled to share more details about my struggles in this part of my life. I have an inkling that my Psych rotation in March will inspire me to… but until then, I am taking it all one day at a time.

Holding my inner child and my inner teenager while I continue to lean into the blossoming roles in my life of doctor and mother. Communing in moments of release and awe at this crazy life amid the sleep deprivation and long hours. This is one of the hardest seasons of my life thus far with how much is being asked of me, and still I dig deeper into my reserves, tapping into an infinite wellspring of love. The winter season is always harsh and yet I am still nurtured from within as Springtime whispers hope into my heart from the near future.
#blog #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

2024. The year our family became 3. The year I passed my first medical board licensing exam. The year I got my white coat and moved into my clinical education. The year I had to let go of ever having a loving relationship with my mother despite my best efforts to make amends as I walked through the threshold of motherhood myself. Again and again, I am reminded that there is so much death within life and life within death. Life got so much more complicated and so much more beautiful. Work-life balance took on a new form. I laughed, I cried, and I danced it out a whole lot.

As 2024 officially finalizes its death cycle and 2025 emerges from its timely womb, I am thrust into a state of reflection that reminds me of where I’ve been as I look toward where I’m going. There was a time 6 years ago when I would sob at the idea of making it to this point because it felt like such an unreachable, distant dream. Sometimes I still can’t believe I’m here right now. I have overcome cPTSD, depression, anxiety, repeated attachment style trauma, addiction, assault and exploitation, and a head injury to get here. One day I will tell my whole story in chronological order, but until then, I am relishing being here in a moment I always dreamed about in much darker days. Gratitude is an understatement. Thank you, 2024, for granting me a life beyond my wildest dreams. There was loss, but there was still so much I gained.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe #2024recap

November ➡️ Family Medicine … and I mean that in multiple ways 👩‍⚕️+🧑‍🧑‍🧒

okay but forreal tho HOW????? 🤨🤯

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science
#medmotivation #medstudent #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe #momlife #pregnancy #preggoproblems #motherhood

Summer dropped into autumn like a graceful swan dive into a cool lake, the leaves began to curl and turn to warm, vibrant hues to kindle fires in the chilled air. September came and went and still my child clung to the warmth of my womb and I wondered when he’d finally arrive. I spent an extra week in clinic gaining credit for another rotation as I waited, but as the first week of October dawned on the horizon I somehow knew this was the time my son had chosen.

I have been through quite a few spiritual initiations throughout my life, they are often wrought with intense dark nights of the soul and wisdom only gleaned from suffering, but this initiation into motherhood might have been the most agonizing and brutal. 60 hours of labor took me to dark corners of my own body and transcendental nonphysical places beyond my mind. I kept reminding myself that I was a door, and it was time to open to this new life coming through me.

I am still processing this intense initiation into motherhood and feel moved to share it in the future, but until then I hold my experiences close to my chest and settle into my new role the way silt settles to the floor of the ocean after the storm rolls away and agitation of the waves begin to self soothe. Every little squeak and squeal and cry from my infant’s throat touches and heals a broken piece of me I never knew I needed. Each time I bring him close to comfort him I comfort my own inner child. How odd it is to realize he is only two weeks old and yet he has been a missing piece from my entire life until now. I cannot imagine life without him anymore.

I drink greedily from this cup of rest as I do nothing else but soak in the presence of my child and my new family. Simultaneously excited to continue my rotations yet dreading the time it will take away from this new dynamic I have birthed into existence. Each breath is an invitation to anchor more presently into my body, into this moment. It is not often that time stops like this, and I have never felt more surrounded by love.

I’ve never felt more ready or less ready for something all at the same time, and I mean that for both medical rotations as well as motherhood. Summer came swiftly as it usually does here, where one day it’s still cold and rainy in June and you’re wondering if summer will ever come and then the next day it’s 85 degrees and and it’s nothing but blue skies and the heatwave of July & August. The new season brings new challenges —

Applying all the knowledge I’ve gathered the past two years, returning to work in a clinical setting while integrating my newfound role and skills, learning how to navigate the expectations of a revolving door of preceptors, balancing clinical work, studying for shelf exams, and still having fun with my friends and family—all while trying to give my body endless grace as this baby boy grows larger and larger inside of me, slipping away every other week for prenatal appointments, taking birth classes and hiring a doula, allowing myself to rest on the days I’m tired, finding creative ways to adjust to the ebbs and flows of this extra ocean of fluid coursing through my body, and still challenging myself to exercise and meal prep and tend to my body in the ways I’ve known to create fertile soil for my physical and mental health.

My peds rotation was filled with fascinating, rare cases, routine ear infections and runny noses, precious newborns that made me pine for my own in due time, and more difficult cases with less than caring parents and tragic circumstances beyond anyone’s control. This week I start an inpatient internal medicine selective and will be in the hospital for two weeks before being whisked off to Seattle my final 4 week rotation in OPP before birth.

I have no idea what’s in store for me in the next month and a half leading up to becoming a mother but even through the stress and the struggle I stop and cherish the moments of butterflies in my stomach, some from my son and some from the realization that I am doing exactly what I’ve always dreamed of doing 🖤

On Staying Humble

Dim the lights while the music pulses through these veins. A cozy haze with the distant clinks of glass and garbled conversation while the artists pour their soul to fill the room. “We are spirit bound to this flesh”

It was just a casual night out to support a friend’s cover band at a dive bar after my first week as a third year medical student in rotations… and yet the scribblings on the bathroom walls felt like a gentle hug from the universe that reminded me “we are born of one breath, one word / we are all one spark, sun becoming”

The titles I am pursuing can be heavy: Student Doctor / Leader / Healer / Mother… and yet I am comforted by the fact that I am only human. That even though I seek to expand my knowledge every day in these roles, I still have as much wisdom within me as some random drunk person in the bathroom of a dive bar in Seattle scribbling their thoughts onto the bathroom wall.

“I’ve seen half of G*d’s face here, the other half is you”

Above the success I wish to acquire with these titles, I prioritize the humble skill of quieting my biases and preconceived notions so that I can always hear the wisdom in the moment, no matter the source.

I am in love with the simplistic sacredness of being human, of experiencing the grunge of imperfection. I am in love with seeing the world through my unique lens of perception and learning how to add to and augment that lens through the example of those around me, both known beloveds and strangers alike.

As I continue to move through inevitable grief, joy, uncertainty, and adversity, I remember that there is a wellspring of gratitude within me that replenishes each time I slow down enough to be truly present in each moment.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

I blinked and it was June. I feel like I’ve been alternating between drowning and floating. The primary source I’ve found in these sensations has been when I’ve noticed whether or not I’m trusting the process or doubting myself. I float when I am trusting, I thrash and drown when I am doubting.

This last semester was the hardest I’ve faced yet, closing this chapter of my preclinical years with a shuddering finality. I have moved across towns, across the state, invoked new life from the spirit side to my womb, grieved my initiation into motherhood without the support of my own, and somehow made it through my first round of board exams.

I am doing my best to breathe through it all. I am doing my best to root myself to my heart and my vision of a world where we all help each other survive instead of compete and consume. Every day, I am cracking open wider to let the pain breathe fresh air and mend. Each day I recommit myself to a path of raw sensation and stubborn conviction to bring healing to myself and those I interact with. To resist the hypnotic certainty of emotional numbness and overwhelm and continue delving into the depths of my human condition. My journey back into clinical practice starts in a few short weeks, but this time I am learning to become a leader in this setting with the new role of student doctor. I don’t take this responsibility lightly. None of us with this privilege should.

The world is bleeding and I hope that through this path I’ve chosen I can find ways to restore health, vitality, and faith in both myself as well as the beautiful humans I work alongside and serve.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

Completely overdue for my monthly med school photo dump 🤪 From doctor prom 🥀🩺 ➡️ winning first place in the literature review category of our school’s research symposium w/ one of my besties for our research on psilocybin 🥇🍄➡️ announcing my med school baby due in September 🥹🤰➡️ finishing up second year & didactics with last lecture & finals 🤓📚 ➡️ settling into Dedicated and FREAKING OUT ABOUT BOARDS!!!! 😱🙇‍♀️📖+ countless personal struggles not pictured because this is the highlight reel 🙃

I continue to push forward with immense gratitude for these opportunities. All the pain, all the stress, all the heartache makes all the joy and adventure that much more delicious 🥲🥰

I’m looking forward to the reprieve that will follow board exams and the lull before rotations in which I will start trying to share more writing and content about my journey and recent musings. My internal topography has been raw and ripe with epiphany but my time for synthesizing it into something social media-worthy has been scant. The journey is long and intense, punctuated by moments of silence as I continue working toward my dreams. Thank you for following along 🖤

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

Walker & Royce with the homies ✅
Last Endocrine Exam ✅
Spring Break ✅
Self Care ✅
386 Practice Board Questions ✅
Trying my best 🥹 ✅

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe

Jan/Feb Second Semester of Second Year dump… Part 2 because I definitely have been slacking on sharing on here 😅 here’s a slightly happier countdown… 97 days until our White Coat Ceremony!
🔥🔥EVERYTHING IS STILL FINE🔥🔥

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe #medschoolmemes

Jan/Feb Second Semester of Second Year dump… 86 days til USMLE, 89 days til COMLEX.
🔥🔥EVERYTHING IS FINE🔥🔥

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #memepage #freefirememe #medschoolmemes

Pasé 10 días en la hermosa Costa Rica donde aprendí a vivir la pura vida. Gracias por la paz y el amor que encontré en mis exploraciones de esta hermosa tierra.

I spent 10 days in the beautiful Costa Rica where I learned to live pura vida. Thank you for the peace and the love that I found in my explorations of this beautiful land.

My winter break consisted of a breathtaking honeymoon in Costa Rica, a Wilderness Medicine Conference in Mt. Hood, OR, and studying for Step/Level 1. Here are some highlights from the Costa Rica trip.

This was my first time leaving the country. To everyone in the USA that hasn’t left the country yet… do it. Find a way. There is so much wisdom and perspective to gain from the people and the land of different countries, and it’s worth the cost and the trouble. I’m grateful for the privilege and the opportunity to finally expand my own horizons, and will definitely be brainstorming more trips abroad in the future.

#travel #costarica #pavones #pavonescostarica #winterbreak #medstudent #medicalstudent #honeymoon #love

What a year 2023 was! This year was JAM PACKED!!!! I honestly cannot believe I did everything I did! Whew! 😅

🎊Ringing in 2023 with those I love most
🌲Discovering new hiking trails near my med school
💕Plentiful date nights with bae
🌈Claude von Stroke at Meow Wolf Denver
💃🏻Learning new pole tricks
🏋️‍♀️New PRs in my lifts and pull ups
🎿Got back into skiing after 10 years
🎶Dancing my booty off with my friends in so many different places… Doctor prom, Justin Martin at the Museum of Flight, Dom Dolla & John Summit at Gasworks Park, and BOO Seattle for Halloween!
🤓Presenting research on physician empathy at PNWU’s Research Symposium
👩‍⚕️Finishing my first year of medical school
⚕️Making so many beautiful connections at the Hazelden Betty Ford Addiction Medicine internship in Oregon
🍄Going to the Psychedelic Science Conference in Denver, CO
🔥Going to the Washington regional burn and making so many new friends, teaching a pole class, and fire spinning!
🩺Starting my second year of medical school
👰‍♀️Getting ceremonially married to my best friend surrounded by those closest to us [and eating fire during the ceremony!]
✈️Traveling to my first neurology conference in Boston
🥳Passing all my classes despite staying soooooo busy
🦥🐠Leaving the country for the first time for our Costa Rica honeymoon to celebrate the holidays and New Year <3

For all the highlights, there were equal moments of darkness, despair, and stress. My life continues to challenge me in all the best ways, and I continue to learn how to hold the ecstasy and the darkness in my life with balance and grace.

I look forward to 2024 with genuine curiosity.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#mcat #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary

❄️ Solstice Blessings 🖤 here’s a gentle reminder in this holiday season that it’s okay to feel grief and it’s okay to be gentle with yourself about it. For many people, this time of year is as much a time of remembrance and loneliness as it is for joy and celebration. Sending everyone love 🫶

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#mcat #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary

November came and went with a bone-chilling gust, the kind that makes you gasp as breath turns to ice in the lungs. It was a season of many stone cold realities waking from ancient cellular hibernations within my body. There are seasons of endurance and there are seasons of abundance, and this autumn has shifted to resemble much more of an early winter for me.

It is enough to celebrate a summer harvest that lasted until October. This month has been all about welcoming the imminent collapse of subsisting off this previous bounty, stored as a wellspring within my heart. There are branches of my identity withering that I never expected to lose. The euphoric gratitude settles like sediment within tumultuous, sorrowful waters. Eternally suspended in a state of bittersweet presence in the moment.

I am reminded, more than ever, that there is so much joy and so much sorrow to behold of this world all at the same time. So much hope and hopelessness to simultaneously hold and mourn. Abject horror and unspeakable beauty. So many dichotomies to feel into and experience within the mosaic of the human condition. I breathe a sigh of relief as the semester concludes and allow my body to settle into a moment of seasonal slumber.

I continue to be grateful for the incredible people that have been put in my life. My treasured finds in a lifelong past as well as the new ones pursuing my same dream. They have given meaning to the phrase, “it takes a village.” They remind me that even while under the inescapable knife of time and change, I will continually be put back together again in a better, sturdier configuration with surgical precision.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#mcat #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary

Our school had our annual talent show last night and for the last two years I’ve shared photos and videos from one of my favorite hobbies: 🔥 fire spinning 🔥

I joined flow arts during a very pivotal time in my life. I had never considered myself a dancer or really even an artist other than a writer for my entire life. 3 years after a life-changing head injury, flow arts provided me a kinesthetic avenue for learning how to learn again and for really solidifying my self-identity as an artist.

Once I lit my hoop on fire, it was game on. I started to make connections in my local communities and go to fire jams, practicing every week and learning all about performance and safety. I learned about new props like fire fans, dragon staff, iso hoops, palm torches, and fire eating.

After graduating from my undergrad without any idea of how I was going to get into medical school at that point in my life, fire spinning gave me a way to build my confidence, forge new pathways between my mind and body, learn how to run a business as an independent contractor, and opportunities to travel around and have some fun. The first photo of the ones I shared above was my first fire spinning photoshoot in 2016, in which I so clearly remember feeling beautiful in my own skin for the first time in my life.

My point in sharing boils down to this, though: Do not neglect the artist within you. Even if you’ve never done anything “artistic” in your life before, even if you “suck at it,” even if you’re a professional in a field completely separate from the arts… DO NOT NEGLECT THE ARTIST WITHIN YOU. I fully believe the places I went and people I met along the way in these adventures directly contributed to the winding path that finally led me back to my dreams of becoming a doctor.

You might be surprised at what often appears at first as a detour can become a foundational building block of the whole person you become later 🖤

✨How do you find your balance?✨

Lately I’ve been tuning more deeply into the messages my body has been sharing with me. She loves all the activity I keep her busy with but something was still missing. I had started to chronically roll my ankles during soccer games with my friends and I still experience debilitating chronic pain at times from a condition I’m currently working on healing so I decided to try out a physical therapist.

Even though I was doing “everything right” by getting a “nice balance” of cardio and weight lifting throughout my weeks, I wasn’t giving my body what she specifically needed… Which was one-legged weight lifting exercises to finally even out my asymmetric weakness, pelvic floor exercises, and balancing exercises like the one you see in the video for ankle stability.

It’s funny how we can be so sure we’re balancing everything nicely when in fact our routines are compensatory and allowing our weak spots to stay weak… and this extends far past physical health into the great metaphor of life itself.

I hope this video serves as inspiration for you to ask yourself the questions… how am I finding my balance these days? Is my balance compensatory or truly balanced? How can I shift my routines to address my weaknesses and blind spots?

And if you’re a giant nerd like me… here are some references below specifically on balance training and ankle stability 🤓

REFERENCES

Cuğ M, Duncan A, Wikstrom E. Comparative Effects of Different Balance-Training-Progression Styles on Postural Control and Ankle Force Production: A Randomized Controlled Trial. J Athl Train. 2016;51(2):101-110. doi:10.4085/1062-6050-51.2.08

Rodriguez-Gonzalez, A. (2023). The Effects of Foot Intrinsic Strengthening Compared to Balance Training on Self-Perceived Function in Patients with Chronic Ankle Instability: A Meta-Analysis (Doctoral dissertation, California State University, Fresno).

Strøm M, Thorborg K, Bandholm T, et al. ANKLE JOINT CONTROL DURING SINGLE-LEGGED BALANCE USING COMMON BALANCE TRAINING DEVICES - IMPLICATIONS FOR REHABILITATION STRATEGIES. Int J Sports Phys Ther. 2016;11(3):388-399.

This month I played the game of: how much can I fit into the month of October while still passing all my classes? 🤡
Results were astounding… I made it thru everything 🤯

Including but not limited to:
4 exams 🤓
1 Lab practical 🤲
20 quizzes 🥵
MY WEDDING (flew to NC for it) 👰‍♀️
A neurology conference in Boston 🧠
Halloween BOO Seattle shenanigans with the homies 🦇👻
2 chatty girl run club runs 🏃‍♀️
1 soccer game ⚽️
6 gym sessions 🏋️‍♀️

It was a whirlwind… it was tons of fun… it was tons of stress… I have no idea how the heck I did all of that and I’m definitely glad it’s all over now.

If you need me… I will be entering my ✨ study hibernation era ✨

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#mcat #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary

GI dump but not like the syndrome 🫠

#medicalstudent #medicalschool #gisystem #shadowwork #memestagram #medicine

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou

One month back and another system down… Renal who?

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary

End of summer break photo dump 😩😭 im officially an OMSII now 👩‍⚕️

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#mcat #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary

The amount of gratitude I feel for this human is infinite and ever-unfolding. It’s hard to believe 7.5 years have passed and that we are both completely different people from who we were when we met. What I find most precious is that we both keep growing together and choosing each other through all the visceral twists life leads us through. The only thing that has remained unchanged through the years is the bedrock foundation of our relationship, which is mutual trust and transparency paired with devout respect of our individual self and needs. There is not one obstacle yet that has stopped us from reaching a peaceful and mutually beneficial conclusion in our relationship when we return to our foundation. Through this practice, we cultivate a relationship free of unspoken resentments and render a relationship of equals.

Full transparency—these peaceful and mutual conclusions are never instantaneous nor sanitized from the inherent messiness of human emotion, but even through moments of disagreement there is an unshakeable confidence that we will regroup and navigate the storm together by the end of it. Someone once told me that secure attachment is not the absence of conflict, it is the continual renewal of confidence and reconnection after inevitable conflict. True secure attachment is knowing that as separate individuals, we will have differences of preference, opinion, and life experience but they are never irreconcilable but rather complimentary—shaping the vibrant topography of the ongoing conversation that is our relationship. These differences between us are not threats, they are nutrients for the relationship to grow… they are features, not bugs. & I am grateful to have learned all of this from loving him.

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #premed #nonbinary #relationships #healthyrelationships

After some panic and improvisation when TSA made me miss my flight for no reason, I made it to Denver and kicked off the week with a Ketamine-Assisted Psychodrama workshop pioneered by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk himself and his team.

From this workshop, the week unfolded, pulsating with a synchronistic and palpable aliveness that led me on a galvanizing adventure of mind, body, and spirit. It was incredibly moving to be in the same room as so many people I’d cited in previous research. Putting faces to names I’ve been recognizing for the past decade.

The scientific community, law and policy makers, and even indigenous community elders all converged in one place to discuss their unique perspective on Psychedelic Science. A subject still rather taboo and poorly understood by the general public became the subject of shameless and passionate analysis and debate for 3 straight business days of material.

I am inspired by the information I learned from this conference and also deeply humbled by the complex nuance and ripples that bringing psychedelics into the mainstream will inevitably create. Even in the wake of so many mind-dazzling intellectual discoveries, it’s important for the indigenous voices who have worked with their respective medicines for centuries remain revered and consulted. Community healing along with ethical and knowledgeable practitioners can never be substituted nor spared.

I’m not entirely sure exactly what it will take to finally unify natural and conventional medicine but I feel like we’re getting close. It reminds me of the Jungian idea that when holding the tension of two opposites correctly, an alchemical solution is unlocked. I find myself hopeful that whatever we unlock causes more ultimate healing than harm. {read the full reflection on blog - LINK IN BIO}

#wellness #health #mentalhealth #spiritual #mentalhealthmatters #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #healthylifestyle #shadow #shadowwork #recovery #selfcare #blog
#tolerance #curiosity #science #spirituality #biohacker
#mcat #medmotivation #medstudent #dostudents #futuredo #medlife #womeninmedicine #psychedelicscience2023 #nonbinary #psychedelic

14 medical students from across the country and 5 transformative days immersed in the field of Addiction Medicine.

Not only did I sit in on group therapeutic sessions, I participated. This specific week of my summer break unintentionally aligned with one of the most painful and traumatic anniversaries of my life. A trauma anniversary deeply entangled within my own checkered past with substance abuse that carefully turned these composting personal matters into novel insight and more deeply integrated wisdom on both personal and professional levels.

A deluge of information, emotion, and new connections swept me from the comforts of familiarity until I found myself floating serenely atop the tumultuous current… translating so divinely the independent truth that to stay afloat of any experience requires total surrender to the ebb and flow of life, with just an intentional paddle here and there to keep you on your ultimate course.

I came into this internship with my own past experiences and understandings of addiction. Watching the way it shaped my earlier life, my family, and the premature deaths of so many of my beloved friends… I checked my own perceptions at the door and invited in new perspectives, weaving them into the living and breathing schemas I already had.

I challenged myself, I shared authentically and boldly, and I listened with a humbleness I’ve missed having the time to hone. I connected with 13 student doctors and countless counselors and patients alike that filled my soul with such fierce compassion and inspiration that my heart is still overflowing.

If there is one resounding truth I can conclude from this week, it’s this: Nobody is safe from the effects of addiction. Its insidious claws shift and snake within the coils of all of our shadows. The more we drop shame at the door and support each other through communal solidarity and nonjudgmental witness of each others stories of how we got here, the less painful and fractured our world will become.

#medicine #addiction #medicalstudent

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